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1st
***
What is this?
Who are you?
Do you wonder why I prefer to be
alone?
I have realized what I could have been.
I am coming to an end.
I admit
I've lost control.
Lost control...
2nd ***
In my eyes you're alive.
In my dreams you're dead.
I can't do what you do.
I don't want what you want.
In your eyes, I am evil.
In your dreams, I am
nothing.
I see myself, empty.
No matter what I do,
No matter what I say,
I can't change what happened.
3rd ***
I
feel free when I see.
But it can't be, life is gone.
I am not mean, but I must
die.
I am blind when I am dead.
But it can't be: my heart is beating.
I am to
kind for this life.
Who am I?
4th ***
Since you have been gone.
I've been lost, lost in time.
I've got to say that
now.
I can't find a way, the right way.
How I need you, I need you.
But that
does not matter anymore.
Our paths has changed,
Our desires has changed,
It’s best the way it is.
5th***
I've been
crying from the inside.
You just sleep, fool yourself.
It's been lonely, cold
winter.
I had to fight, had to find.
I don't want to, I don't want.
I can't
change what happened,
You're the cause of my condition,
No matter what will
happen.
Just leave me alone, alone as…
I am happy, happy to be alone.
I
just sleep, sleep and fool myself.
6th ***
I
feel am dying, above you.
I dream I am flying, far away.
Even if you trying, to
stop me.
There is no way back, no way.
I feel so close now…
He is
waiting for me, down there,
I will kill him with my own hands,
Someone has to do
it, it's me.
I am sorry for the pain.
7th ***
I am dreaming for the blind.
My visions are for the blind.
I try to murder
the blind.
I am blind, I am frozen.
My frozen tears my blind pain.
What is my
destiny?
Maybe I always knew,
That my dreams would break.
I feel like pain
again, empty.
8th ***
I trusted you to much,
to much.
I gave you too much, too much.
I knew you lied, I resumed.
I always
knew, my broken visions,
are empty as my pain, pathetic pain.
I am dying faster,
but nothing lasts for me,
I can damn you, but I have to laugh,
So you better watch
your back, I am evil.
Nothing left, but to kill myself again.
Yes, I am falling,
how much longer?
I am pissed off of my condition,
I am pathetic as our
opposition.
9th ***
The time has come and
here I am.
Why should I give you my hand?
I could never turn to you again.
I
can't trust you anymore.
I am sinking, drowning fast.
I want you to come with
me,
I like to see you fucking TRY!
Silence is for the weak,
Avoidance is for
the lost,
You die in my eyes.
What I mean to you? WHAT?!
10th ***
I opened my mind and got scared.
Darken by my
entire life,
Scared about the Future,
Never want to hear another "No" again.
I celebrate the holocaust,
I am the one to be gone,
I am the victim of it, but
alive.
Life is not pleasant, death hurts a lot.
Avoiding the public, thinking of
myself.
There is no escape from this, fear, regret..
Visions of love and hate,
behind my eyes.
I wish I didn't know that.
Memories punish me once again.
I
always wonder what might have been..
11th ***
Searching for the path.
Finding nothing what I want.
Trying to forget the future
and the past.
I don't think this is my way,
I wasn't born for this. I need more
TIME!
My trust and loyalty is pure,
But is worthless, no one wants it.
Nobody
needs it, I don't need it myself.
I want to live another life.
12th ***
I will never make the same mistake.
I will
find a way, my way.
Have you ever said? I won't?
I continue to make the same
mistakes.
I can't help it, I am like that.
When I will be there, listen to me.
The weakness of my hope,
Is something I really don't need?
What I am
supposed to do?
I shut the door and runaway,
Is this right? I don't care.
13th ***
Suicide is not the way,
But I can't
find another way.
Walking out alone, no way to go.
Don't know what to do,
Don't know where to look.
Visions create the path,
Dreams show the path,
Reality makes me disappoint of my path.
My life is passing by,
I can't catch my
train, I'm always late.
Standing on the shore with no hope,
When will my train
arrive?
How long I will be waiting?
I am empty, I am gone..
14th ***
Alone as water in the sea,
Waves carrying the
sewage.
I am too pure to be carried.
No one wants me, even the birds.
I want
to drown, I can't.
I want to swim, I can't.
I want to dive, I can't.
I don't
want to wait, I can.
I don't want to, I can.
I never wanted, I did.
No
solution to choose from,
No way to reach my objective.
Put a mask, close the
door,
Forget your life forever.
15th ***
I went far away from you,
But someday we will meet again,
Crying and laughing
together.
But the wounds in my soul..
Never could be healed again,
There is a
lot of what to forget.
I admit I can't reach my happiness.
It is to far away, it
is gone.
I can't feel it, but I remember it.
My thoughts are pain for me,
My
thoughts are my success.
Thoughts are useless as deeds.
Forget, forget
everything..
Nothing left anymore.
16th ***
I call it unreal, I call it..
The mirage which they call life,
Hovering in
you is pathetic.
Brainwashing…
Flashback…
Nothing is worth it,
Wake up, destroy the mirage.
Be dead in their world, be alive in our world.
The
Satan is waiting for you!
You can ask why, but I don't have an answer.
Nothing is
true, everything is false.
The God forgot you, the Satan needs you!
17th ***
Withdraw out of my dreams,
Get away somewhere
else,
I hate you, I want to kill you.
Your head will be in my arm,
Your body
will be burning hot.
Birds and flowers will decorate your palace.
And you don't
remember us anymore too.
We are independent and we don't need you.
You left us to
suffer; now you will be the one,
to suffer the loneliness and this pain.
You
forgot us, now we will forget you.
18th ***
These words are my forgiveness,
For myself and for you.
Did you hear that? That
sound?
Does it mean anything for you?
The sadness of knifed heart... My heart,
Your knife.
I fear what lies ahead.
I still have your knife.
I keep your
things in paradise,
I don't know why I am doing this.
But I feel temples rising in
my heart,
They fall when they rise.
So I will cut my heart,
Goodbye forever
and Sorry.
19th ***
Feelings: above,
beneath, behind.
They change, they continue and freeze.
My thoughts fall as
tears,
My strength runs away, far away.
I can't feel myself,
I can't
understand myself,
I don't know what I have become.
I hate myself, I love
myself.
I want to suffer, I want to feel pain.
I hate to feel good, I want to be
evil.
I don't like myself, when I am evil,
I don't like when I am good.
No
emotions, no devotions..
Take my hand, love me.
20th ***
When I close my eyes,
I see the mankind die.
When I open my
eyes,
I see the mankind dead.
Everything must stop,
Reality must sleep and
dream.
Dreams must come true,
Please, God, at least for a while?
Where I
could take a deep breath,
Under an oak: together and forever.
Feeling the grass
and more.
Smiling and being happy; a pure moment.
My dream is over, I have lost
it..
Lost it forever, no control.